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Guidance and Help for Parents, Guardians and Trusted Adults

Help for Children and Teens

Children often seem like they are on an emotional rollercoaster following the loss of a loved one. One moment they can be happy and seeming to enjoy themselves, the next they can seem sad and withdrawn. This is totally normal for younger children especially, as they do not yet have the capacity to deal with their emotions.

Often, younger children cannot grasp the permanence of death. Parents, guardians and trusted adults should try and avoid using confusing language such as ‘lost’ or ‘gone to sleep’, as the child may believe the person could come back. Instead, try to use age appropriate language such as saying the person’s body has stopped working and they cannot see, feel or hear any more.

Try to encourage the child to express their feelings. They may feel like they will upset you if they share, so encouraging them to open up is a very good way to help them to feel included and like they can share their feelings. If they cannot find the right words, expression through playing, drawing, painting, putting together memory scrapbooks or picture collages can be a great alternative to help the child give their thoughts and feelings.

Validate their emotions whenever possible. Grief can cause all kinds of reactions from sadness to anger and everything in between. Reassure them that what they feel is ok and natural and offer them comfort when they display these emotions.

Try to remain patient, children often find these times distressing and may become emotional when you least expect it. In the meantime, try to keep a normal routine which can provide comfort and security for the child. Keep an eye out for any drastic out of character changes – this may need further help from a healthcare professional. Remember to look after yourself too!

Mother and Child Hugging
Sad Child

Click Here for our Child Grief Leaflet which includes some handy tips on how to  cope at home.

We understand that grief and loss are big and scary emotions for both children and adults. Rest assured that you are doing a great job during these difficult times. We hope that some of our tips give you a helping hand!

If you feel you need more help and guidance, or that your child would benefit from seeing someone unconnected personally to the loss, please do contact us. We are very happy to provide as much support as we can!

Resources to Help Support Youngsters

                           Barnardo's

Seven Tips from Barnardo’s