Resources and Help for Fathers
Help For Dads
A father’s feelings can often be side-lined during the bereavement process, as usually the focus is on the mother in terms of physical and mental health following the loss.
The focus on the mother, whilst understandable from a medical perspective, often means the father is left with little to no support. This is a situation that we at Bluebell, and the majority of mental healthcare workers, believe is leaving dads without an outlet for their grief.
Many men ‘bottle up’ their feelings in order to support their grieving partners. Whilst this kind of response is understandable, especially in a world where men’s feeling are often discounted or overlooked generally, it can often lead to problems for the father and mean they never fully face their grief.
It’s hard to explain the emotions for a man when it comes to miscarriage as we don’t experience the physical pain, but we do however experience the emotional pain. I struggled with guilt, I felt ashamed that I had been excited and talked about things like names and reading a story to the baby. Then there was the anger that this had happened and that I couldn’t protect my partner and the baby. I felt like I had let them down.
Brett’s Story – The Miscarriage Association
Dads have the same emotions during a miscarriage and the loss of a child, and the focus should be on both the mother and father during this difficult time. Fathers may not experience the physical aspects of miscarriage, but they can feel angry and powerless when it comes to helping their partner who is experiencing this.
Dads feel the same grief and upset, and yet many of them feel they cannot express this.
Here at Bluebell, we encourage everyone who has experienced the loss to seek help from us. The emotional support of the father is equally as important to us, and we want dads to know this and feel valued as an equal partner in this process of bereavement support.
Bluebell wants you to share your story with us, whether you come with your partner or by yourself, and to feel that help is here for you, as a father.
Please do not hesitate to contact us. We are here for you!
Resources For Dads
Listed below are some resources specifically for dads. We here at Bluebell feel they can give a sense of perspective to fathers. There are other dads out there going through the same emotions and feelings.
Please feel free to take a look at the resources below, hopefully they will help you better understand your grief and know you are not alone in your bereavement.